A GREAT Giveaway!

Sophistishe is giving away a 13-Piece Better Homes and Gardens Hard-Anodized Cookware Set valued at $149! Be sure to visit her blog and enter here! Ends 12/3/10.

The Birds

I cannot imagine there being  ANYONE on this planet who hasn't heard of Alfred Hitchcock and his horror movies. The Birds is one I watched when I was very young. I remember being scared and even not liking birds much after that! But never in my life did I ever think I would survive my very own The Birds attack! It happened to me but I survived and am choosing to share my story because it could happen to anyone! But before I get to that, here's a little summary about the movie for any one who's clueless!

It's about a town that gets taken over by these crazy, pill popping, jacked up on sunflower seeds and Mt Dew, birds!  And honestly, I'm not sure what the history is with this town and the birds, but for whatever reason, there's some bad blood between them! These people don't stand a chance, because these birds are full on attack mode!  
New to the town or not, everyone's on their list! They brutally went after anyone and everyone in sight! There was no stopping them...they even PLUCKED out the eyes of a sweet lady! (Um, OUCH!)
Scary that even children weren't safe. In fact, they wanted those kids to suffer more then anyone else! And they had a plan!!

The birds staked out the schoolhouse (that's what it was called in the 60's I guess!) deciding the playground equipment would be their best bet. So they sat there on the monkey bars, watching....waiting...ready to ATTACK! They were hungry for more eyeball juice and they knew exactly where to get it...from all those school children! Every bird knows that children's eyeball juice is the best. (I'm pretty sure I read that it gives them super strength or some magical powers to see the future or something like that!) So the birds patiently waited for the kids to do what the birds knew they would...run out of the school, in a sprint!  And, well, everyone knows you don't run from birds! It only makes them more angry and more hungry for human flesh! (I don't want to blame the kids for being attacked, I mean, no bird should be pecking at a kids face. But come on, they were running!)

And those crazy coked up birds didn't just go for eyes! (Which, I suppose is a good think, considering.) They went for anything they could!  Just look at this little terrified boy! Poor thing already has the mouth of a Clydsdale and now  his ear is being eaten off by a bird. I can only imagine the teasing he got after this! 

And then there's this 'bird attack'...

I'll be honest here...my gut tells me this was no bird attack! I mean check out that wallpaper! That's like 'pay by the hour' motel wallpaper! This 'attack' looks like a client who tried to cheat his date and Big Poppa was not happy about being cheated! He wanted his money! But like I said, that's just speculation on my part!!

Okay, so in the end, the ones who survived and didn't cheat their hooker, packed up and bolted out of town. The birds were left to run the place and  blah, blah, blah. Now, on to the reason for this post...

I LIVED THE BIRDS MOVIE!! 

"Whhhhhaaaaaatttttt?!" You're probably asking, but yeah, I was attacked by birds! Okay, one bird, but it was in my room and bathroom! And okay, so maybe not attacked, but definitely left the situation scared and with a vendetta for birds!! 

So, I causally strolled into my bedroom to here the most ear piercing screetch coming from a bird hitting the window! I ran out screaming and in a panic state, called Nicholas. 

Can you guess his reaction? "Renee, it's just a bird! Get a tennis racket, open the bedroom window and try to push it out!" Um, NOT exactly the answer to my "OMG Nicholas! You have to come home! There's a bird in our room and he's going to attack me!!", cry for help!! Nicholas didn't think I should be so scared, but I had every right to be terrified...remember the children...the eyeballs...the playground! And look at that bird! That's no, "hey friend, I'm just going to calmly fly away now!" No, that's a bird ready to eat my eyes out!

*let me take a moment to say, after about 30mins, I calmed down enough to grab my camera and just randomly started snapping! the pictures, however, do not convey the chaos and fear of that day*

I'm not 100% on this, but I think
he's doing some flexing Trying to get in
my head...it worked!.

LOOK at that...that's a bird ready to STRIKE!

Luckily for me, I had reluctant Jacob who bravely donned his Anikan Skywalker mask and light saber to take on the ferocious, pterodactyl sized bird!

Oh, and Chloe did her best to help! She was mostly brave...but the noise that bird would make usually sent her running under my bed! And eventually I decided she was small enough to be carried off and since Jacob was in the room, I couldn't let him see that happen. So, I put her outside!! (Britain isn't in any of these photos because she was SLEEPING on the couch!! What?! I was doing some serious screaming, I don't know how she did it!)

After a very long and hostile stand off, and many attempts by Jacob to get the bird from the bathroom closet, we decided he wasn't coming out. (Plus, I had cookies to bake!)  We shut my bedroom door with the windows opened and prayed it would leave. About 10 minutes later we went back in and couldn't find him anywhere. I promised Jacob that the crazy bird was definately gone...for good! But trust me, I'm no fool...I know he's hiding, somewhere in or around my house waiting for the right moment to STRIKE again!.
(I swear I can still hear his wings hitting the windows at night!) If that bird comes attacks, it's every man for himself! I have a plan to pull all the covers on me, leaving Nicholas fully exposed! I'm hoping he'll only do some lite pecking, mininally damage, but distracted just enough for me to escape to get Jacob! (HEY! Jacob is the one with the light saber skillz and some MAD Jedi mind tricks! So yeah, I'm okay with him saving me...again!)

Well there it is...that's my real life The Birds story!! Oh that Mr. Hitchcock sure has some great horror movies, but trust me, it doesn't compare to living one...and SURVIVING to tell the tale! And I have a story or twelve two that I could share about living the movie Psycho...but that's for another time!

Really?!!

A slump....a block...nothing to say....nothing to write about....??

I just started blogging again, and I'm excited about it...it's fun to just sit and type! However, lately it hasn't been that way, AT ALL!

When I wasn't blogging, (I noticed it was over a year that I had stopped!!) I constantly had things running through my mind of what I could write about, how I would word it, make it funny! But now...NOW that I'm actually making an effort to sit down and write something, I'm blank!

NOTHING!...


NADA!...


ZERO!...


ZILCH!! 
(It's like total cricket noise in here!)

It's frustrating...VERY frustrating! I read other blogs and it just seems SO easy, yet here I am, Stuck!  Hopefully I'll come out of this funk and something great will end up as a blog post!!

Fingers crossed...

i heart baking

Baking has been something that I've always loved to do. Growing up, I remember standing in the kitchen watching my mom while she would bake. (and sing! She always sang when she cooked and cleaned. I find myself doing that now...much to the dismay delight of my family!) My mom doesn't bake as much anymore since all of us girls are out of the house, which has been great, since she's given us all her baking tools! But when my mom was baking a lot, she was totally the MacGyver of the kitchen. Seriously! It wouldn't matter if all we had were butter and green beans, somehow she could turn that into the most delicious, melt in your mouth, slap yo sista, yummy Snickerdoodle cookies. (let's be honest here, I really don't need a cookie to slap my sisters, I'd do that all on my own!) They were that good! And to this day, they are my most favorite cookie to devour all by myself bake and share! But as good as her baked goods were, she rarely used a recipe! All from her head. (I know, crazy!) And not like she just had it memorized, oh no, that would be to easy! She learned to bake, on her own, when she was very young, so a lot of her baking came from trial and error! And for someone like me, who absolutely HAS TO HAVE a recipe, my moms "a little bit of this, a little of bit that" is NOT what I like to hear when calling for a recipe! I need exact measurements here, Lady!! Being in the kitchen with my mom, spending that time with her, talking with her, learning from her, was definitely the best part of baking! (mom, don't cry now...but geez, I am a sweet daughter!)

Moving on...

I bake...a lot! (Shocking, right?) It's great because Britain loves being in the kitchen with me. She's my little helper. She sits on the counter top and dumps the precisely measured ingredients into the bowl and stirs everything up, usually making a mess! (like mother, like daughter!) But the one thing that I have a problem with letting her do, is decorate. That's my favorite part! (I'm selfish, so what!) Oh, how I love making those cookies or cupcakes look 'pretty'! Like to the point that it pangs me to see them being ate...my beautifully decorated cookies. Although decorating is my most favorite part of the baking process, I'm so not very creative. At all. Example...my bedroom is an exact replica of a bedroom I saw on the cover of a magazine! The paint color, the curtains, the bedding, everything! I can't can't put things together and it look good! (oh no, don't be sad! I've come to terms with it!) So what's a girl to do when she looks at a cookie as a blank canvas? (see, I can sound artsy!) Well that girl Googles the crap out of, uh, well, cookie decorating! Yeah, I'm a Googleholic! (Oh, I like that word!) And I am a follower stalker, (yes it is to that point) of some great blogs!! I draw inspiration from all over the Internet. The Sweet Adventures of Sugarbelle has to be my most favorite place to go. She's so amazing and talented! Like the kind of talent that, if you were petty and vain, which I am NOT, you'd totally want to not like her! But that's not how I feel, I'm secure in the talent that I, undoubtedly lack, so I love, love, LOVE her!! (uh, creepy much?) Another great blog that I follow is Sweetopia. She has great tutorials for decorating. And it's amazing what she can put on a cookie!! (I also have an abnormal obsession with cupcakes! But more on that later!)

Reading those blogs, looking at all those adorable cookies they've created, always makes me want to bake. And who am I to stifle one's dream? I've been wanting to try a zebra print and marbled decorated sugar cookie for awhile, and I finally just did it! I spent HOURS looking at I tons of cookies to figure out how to make mine look like that. I still wasn't completely sure, but I tried it anyways...they turned out super cute!! Unfortunately, I only have pictures of the cookies completed, so I can't really show you how it's done. But they are simple to do, and I know Sweetopia has a great tutorial on how to do the marbling! And really, the zebra was easy as well. Pipe lines onto wet icing, with a toothpick, drag the end to a point. That makes sense, right?

For the cookies, I have a sugar cookie recipe that I've had forever but I'm sure any recipe would work. I use glace icing when decorating my cookies. I prefer glace over royal because I think it tastes so much better...but either will work.

I found the recipe for glace icing over at Our Best Bites...she also has a great tutorial on decorating.

So here are some of the cookies I baked and decorated...prepare yourself to be overcome with the urge to not like me, because these cookies are freaking ADORABLE!!!

So sorry about all the pictures, but I am NOT a decision maker either...even if it's about what pictures to post!

My kids...

Are just so much fun! They are goofy and are always doing things to make me laugh. I'm lucky that they are like me in that way...I love being funny!!

So when I decided that I wanted a mustache for Halloween, both of them had to join in...

Britain has a teeny-tiny mustache...but really, isn't she adorable?!

Yeah, we look good!

Jacob, mustache or not, he's such a handsome boy!

I just love my kids!